24 January 2012


  This afternoon, Mom finally had Ashley’s shoulders checked. They are crooked, we notice and I thought it might be scoliosis. But I’m not a doctor.

  We went to Dr. Ritchie Madayag, a sports therapist. I went to him last year when my foot and back started hurting. It was he who explained to me, thoroughly, that I had chronic tendinitis on my left foot.

  While Mom and Ash were in the clinic, I bought food for my younger siblings, Nic and Allegra. I bought just enough for the two little ones, but Nic, being in a bad mood, had eaten a lot.

  I was snacking on the sight of them.

  Mom asked me what I was going to eat. In a sort of freaking out voice, I told her I didn't want to eat anything.

  This is not the first time this"food anger" happened. I noticed that when I'm stressed or pressured I start seeing food as an enemy. Other people eat when their stressed but me, I get more stressed eating and I start counting my food O.o When I don't eat in times of stress I also get so proud of my self-control that I totally lose it when someone offers me food. This behavior is particular to my immediate family:

ME:Not eating anything while everybody else is. Proud of my self control. Tired of today.
SOMEBODY:Do you want some?
ME:Totally irked and defensive No, I don't want some! I don't want to eat, I'm not hungry!
S:OK :|

  Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Maybe my voice just sounds that way to me but not to others. Just observed it....

{This post has been modified from it's original version}

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