20 June 2012


  Still working on The Ballet Companion and am in the chapter: The Healthy Dancer. I'd say that Eliza did a great job on shedding a light on the subject of anorexia. While reading, I realized that I had, or could have had, anorexia...

  There was a time during my school days when I was only eating salad for lunch, got irritable when I was offered food outside mealtimes, very rash toward my friends, always feeling super stressed out... A time when my skin was flaking and my hair was falling out a lot. I was also making an effort to wake up really early to do some core work and stretching. These were all signs of anorexia: answers to why I got burned out during that time... 

  I guess that was my reaction to stress. It's weird, yes: I get stressed out, and instead of taking it easy with the minor things, I take in more work than I should. BUT when I am not at all busy and am doing nothing at all, I also start feeling down! 

  There's a section in the same chapter in Companion about dealing with burn out but I haven't read it yet. 

  I'm now afraid for myself. What if my body is now permanently damaged? I should stop thinking about how much I eat and instead turn my attention to what I eat. It's been said time and again, but I think I only get it now (blonde moment).

  Now that I've solved the problem concerning my health, I have another question,
How do those real, long term, anorexics survive without feeling so down? 
  I mean, I felt terrible and have only just begun to bounce back to my happy self... how do they bear it for so long?

 Oh, maybe they don't realize that it's not eating that makes them feel bad if they do...

  Wow, this is a lot of discovery for me... Thank you Ballet Companion...

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